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" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "
Judy Gold
Growing
Feet
Age
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" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "
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" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "
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" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "
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" When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere. "
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" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "
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" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "
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" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "
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People
" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "
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" I'm not selfish at all. "
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" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "
Judy Gold
Laugh
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She
" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "
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Love
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" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "
Judy Gold
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" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "
Judy Gold
Talk
Me
Love
" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "
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See
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Always
" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "
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Sons
Two
Biggest
" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "
Judy Gold
Think
Talk
Her
" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "
Judy Gold
Dreamed
Living
Always
" For me, humor is everything! "
Judy Gold
Humor
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" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "
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Bat
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" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "
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Creative
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" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "
Judy Gold
Mother
Mothers
Scary
" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "
Judy Gold
Street
Tall
Woman
" Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.' "
Judy Gold
Saying
Mother
Humor
" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "
Judy Gold
Nothing
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Writing
" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "
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Mother
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" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "
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Now
Audience
Done
" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "
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Tell
Military
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" Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. "
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" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "
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" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "
Judy Gold
Dinner
Reckoned