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" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "

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" Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. "

" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "

" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "

" 'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't. "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion. "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "

" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "

" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "

" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

" We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "