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All Quotes by author - Judy Gold

" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "

" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" For me, humor is everything! "

" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "

" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "

" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "

" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "

" I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion. "

" I'm not selfish at all. "

" I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize. "

" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

" I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family. "

" It's fun to be someone else. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "

" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "

" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "

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