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" When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere. "

Judy Gold

Girl

American

Thinking

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" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" Joan Rivers was my hero. "

" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "

" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "

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" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "

Judy Gold

Nothing

Writing

" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched. "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "

" We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing. "

" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "

" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "

" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "