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" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

Judy Gold

Lot

Cooking

You

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" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "

" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "

" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" Joan Rivers was my hero. "

" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

" For me, humor is everything! "

Judy Gold

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" 'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't. "

Judy Gold

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" My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room. "

" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "

Judy Gold

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" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" I'm not selfish at all. "

Judy Gold

Selfish

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" It's fun to be someone else. "

" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "

" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "

Judy Gold

Bat

About

" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "

" Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. "

" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "

" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "

" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "

" Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.' "

" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "