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" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

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" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "

" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched. "

" My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room. "

" When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere. "

" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "

" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "

" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "