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" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

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" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room. "

" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "

" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "

" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "

" We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "

" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "

" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "

" The more life experience you have, the more comedy you can write. "

" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" It's fun to be someone else. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.' "

" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "

" I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "

" For me, humor is everything! "

" Joan Rivers was my hero. "

" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "