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" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

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" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "

" For me, humor is everything! "

" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "

" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched. "

" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "

" Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.' "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "

" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "

" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "

" I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize. "

" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. "

" When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere. "

" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "