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" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "

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" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "

" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

" I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family. "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere. "

" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize. "

" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "

" 'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't. "

" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "

" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "