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" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "
" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "
" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "
" I'm not selfish at all. "
" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "
" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "
" Joan Rivers was my hero. "
" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "
" When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere. "
" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "
" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "
" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "
" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "
" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "
" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "
" It's fun to be someone else. "
" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "
" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "
" 'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't. "
" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "
" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "
" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "
" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "
" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "
" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "
" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "
" I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion. "
" When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched. "
" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "
" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "
" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "