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" I could never sit down and write jokes. "
Louis C. K.
Write
Could
Down
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" My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people. "
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" I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through. "
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" I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard. "
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" I would rather be with my kids than anybody else. "
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" America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out. "
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" If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are. "
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" When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep. "
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" A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much. "
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" When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage. "
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" Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff. "
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" I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at. "
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" I don't have a brother in real life. "
Louis C. K.
Life
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Real
" Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. "
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" I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat. "
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" I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff. "
Louis C. K.
You
Heaven
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" To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me. "
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Very
Great
" I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work. "
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You
Consistency
Experience
" I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do. "
Louis C. K.
Every Day
Day
Full
" Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much. "
Louis C. K.
Why
Talking
Talk
" It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me. "
Louis C. K.
Looking
Alone
Kind
" I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system. "
Louis C. K.
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Never
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" When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.' "
Louis C. K.
Started
Women
Dating
" The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness. "
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People
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Direction
" When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore. "
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" Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people. "
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" Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head. "
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" I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' "
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" I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women. "
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" There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.' "
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" You can't direct without a good crew. "
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You