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" When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep. "

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" I could never sit down and write jokes. "

" I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about. "

" Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing. "

" I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?' "

" Life is full of horrible mistakes. "

" It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive. "

" I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat. "

" You can't direct without a good crew. "

" I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk. "

" Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much. "

" It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally. "

" There's no such thing as a cheap laugh. "

" I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from. "

" Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides. "

" There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just decide what the reviews say. "

" A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody. "

" I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. "

" The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness. "

" To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me. "

" I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do. "

" When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes. "

" Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head. "

" It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them. "

" When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides. "

" Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people. "

" Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them. "

" The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it. "

" Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it. "

" Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff. "

" I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women. "