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" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "
H. L. Mencken
" I'm a Twitter addict. Jose Andres is a serial tweeter. It's funny to see which chefs have embraced it, and the different paths they take. "
" When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny. "
" A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. "
" I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it. "
" When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them. "
" I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours. "
" The cynics are right nine times out of ten. "
H. L. Mencken
" I'm for whatever gets you through the night. "
" Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings. "
" Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out. "
" Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ. "
H. L. Mencken
" I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. "
Joe E. Lewis
" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "
" Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! "
" If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? "
" Men are only as loyal as their options. "
" 'Funny People' is my favorite performance of myself to date. Even though it's a comedy and there are serious moments, I really felt like Leo felt like a real person. It didn't feel like I was playing myself. Whether it's a comedy or drama, I just try to make it as realistic as possible. "
" But it's funny that now I'm in such a happy situation, I look more objectively at my own past and see what others have seen for a long time and I'm just so glad I've been able to get to this point. "
" I have never been hurt by what I have not said. "
" I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. "
Arthur Conan Doyle
" I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. "
" I've always surrounded myself with funny people. "
" People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. "
" It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget. "
" I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. "
" If I get dressed up, and my boyfriend says, 'You look gorgeous,' I kinda feel funny. I don't know if I'm particularly comfortable with being attractive. "
" What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you. "
" Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in. "
" A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "
" I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. "