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" I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, 'Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good.' Hopefully it balances out. "

Demetri Martin

People

Think

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" I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes. "

" Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted. "

" The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have. "

" Communism is like one big phone company. "

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" We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast. "

" I don't mean to be funny. "

Yogi Berra

Funny

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" We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny - the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know? "

" Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. "

" It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing. "

" I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.' "

" Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. "

" I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights. "

" You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level. "

" If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. "

" My hope is that we can spread the word: Wonder Woman is not some unapproachable goddess. She's funny, dangerous, intimidating, brilliant, and compassionate. In many ways, I think she's the most human superheroine there is. "

" Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. "

Benjamin Franklin

See

Wine

" How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing. "

" I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier. "

" It's funny because I want my teeth to be, like, neon 'Real Housewives' white, but mine have stopped taking to teeth whitening. When I talk to my dentist, I'm like, 'They can be that white,' and he's like, 'Veneers can be that white.' "

" Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. "

" My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra. "

Angie Dickinson

Actress

Against

" I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican. "

" I grew up in a funny way. "

Gordon Ramsay

Way

Funny Way

" When I was born I owed twelve dollars. "

" I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. "

Joe E. Lewis

Drink

Funny

" I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. "

" Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable; that's survival. "

" A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. "