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" If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. "

Tallulah Bankhead

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" Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way. "

" There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an actress. That's what I find so funny: that you become an actor, and all of a sudden, everyone wants to know about you. But I didn't become an actor so I could show you me. "

" I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. "

" I'm thankful enough or blessed enough to be able to say that Miles Davis was a friend when he was alive, and he was a wonderful mentor and really, really funny, you know. "

" I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. "

" I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes. "

" I run around my house naked with heels all the time. It's so funny. "

Mary-Kate Olsen

" How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing. "

" If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. "

" I think serial monogamy says it all. "

" If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. "

" There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier. "

" People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it's a way of pulling people in and not scaring them off. I think a lot of the funny stuff, underneath it, there's a deep anxiety going on. "

" I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps could become your sound, too. I did that with Hemingway, and I thought I was writing just like Hemingway. Then all of a sudden it occurred to me - he didn't have a sense of humor. I don't know anything he's written that's funny. "

" My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn't aware is a punch line. "

" I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one. "

" One man is as good as another until he has written a book. "

Benjamin Jowett

" I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. "

Bertrand Russell

" My life needs editing. "

" I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me. "

Tallulah Bankhead

" What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you. "

" I was flying with my brother, and he challenged me to work out on the airplane. He thought it was funny - and I did it! "

" There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity. "

Vladimir Nabokov

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli. "

" He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food. "

Raymond Chandler

" I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it. "

" For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, 'O.K., I think I'm decently funny.' But unless you just have some massive ego, I really think you're still fighting against that. "

" There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.' "

" I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way. "