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" I'm thankful enough or blessed enough to be able to say that Miles Davis was a friend when he was alive, and he was a wonderful mentor and really, really funny, you know. "

Prince

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" Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? "

" I really believe in finding new ways to distribute my music. "

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" Technology is cool, but you've got to use it as opposed to letting it use you. "

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" I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness. "

" If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "

" It's funny, the moment you dread the most, seeing yourself bald, is actually not such a bad moment at all. "

" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

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" I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin. So I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. "

" A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "

" I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. "

Fred Allen

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" A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. "

" There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it. "

" Somebody said something funny to me the other day. They said, 'Wolper, until two weeks ago, your tombstone was going to say, 'David Wolper, the man who produced 'Roots.' I think the tombstone now has a new inscription. It's going to be 'David Wolper, the man who produced the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics.' "

David L. Wolper

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" The music, for me, doesn't come on a schedule. I don't know when it's going to come, and when it does, I want it out. "

Prince

" But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. "

" I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. "

" I don't follow anything blindly. I have to know the entire thing, if I have to get in to it. It might sound funny to you, but it's like using English language. I use an English word only when I know its meaning and understand its connotation. You won't hear me say, 'What's up, dude' or anything like that just for the heck of it. "

" I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, 'Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good.' Hopefully it balances out. "

Demetri Martin

People

Think

" I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. "

" I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on set, I don't have to go to the bathroom, I don't have anything wrong, I'm perfectly fine, so through-and-through. I'm not hungry. I'm literally not even in my own body. "

" It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to. "

" I've always understood the two to be intertwined: sexuality and spirituality. That never changed. "

Prince

" Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. "

" I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it. "

" There are no great jazz-fusion bands. "

Prince

" I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. "

Taylor Swift

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" I am built funny. Picture Mark Twain's head on Ichabod Crane's body. Now hold your mental picture to the light and crumple it. "

" As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. "

" If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. "

" Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know. "