Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I was flying with my brother, and he challenged me to work out on the airplane. He thought it was funny - and I did it! "

Related Quotes:

" When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. "

" Often, I'll do a quick workout in my hotel room consisting of exercises for the legs, glutes, abs, and arms with my own body weight. Also, I always have a jump rope, a medicine ball I can inflate, and a band in my suitcase. It's a great kit to have for travel. "

" I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. "

" I'm not that good looking. That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny. "

" You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am. "

" Maori get pigeonholed into the idea they're spiritual and telling stories like 'Whale Rider' and 'Once Were Warriors,' quite serious stuff, but we're pretty funny people, and we never really have had an opportunity to show that side of ourselves, the clumsy, nerdy side of ourselves, which is something I am. "

" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "

" A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.' "

" Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. "

P. G. Wodehouse

" I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming. "

" My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. "

" The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "

" I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. "

" When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny. Later, I remember, on 'Late Night with Letterman', I remember he'd have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that. "

" You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people. "

" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "

" When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. "

" As I get older, I just prefer to knit. "

" I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people. "

" The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man. "

" When it comes down to it, glam rock was all very amusing. At the time, it was funny, then a few years later it became sort of serious-looking and a bit foreboding. "

" I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers. "

" It's funny what memory does, isn't it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. But because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail. "

" I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. "

" The next time you have a thought... let it go. "

" We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. "

" I don't mean to be funny. "

" Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. "

" California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. "

" I think my funny books are my favorites because I like to laugh so much. "