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" If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away. "
Larry David
Woman
She
Flirt
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" At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me. "
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Thought
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" I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges. "
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Person
World
Running
" It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often. "
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Day
You
Just
" Golf and dating don't mix. "
Larry David
Dating
Mix
Golf
" Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate. "
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Free
People
" Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days. "
Larry David
Started
Doing
Bleak
" People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue. "
Larry David
Them
Things
Nasty
" Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible. "
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Me
Happens
Good
" You write about what you know. "
Larry David
You
Write
Know
" I believe in something. "
Larry David
I Believe In
Believe
I Believe
" I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that's going to happen. There's an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it. "
Larry David
Know
Write
Going
" Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. "
Larry David
Idea
Your
Breath
" OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy. "
Larry David
OK
Right
Happy
" I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish. "
Larry David
Night
Fish
First
" The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch. "
Larry David
American
Lunch
Me
" I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out. "
Larry David
Planning
Homeless
Good
" I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through. "
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Think
Imagine
People
" I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation. "
Larry David
Now
Heritage
Generation
" I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic. "
Larry David
Embrace
Tend
Stay
" I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself. "
Larry David
Good
Anything
Feel
" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "
Larry David
Talk
You
Way
" I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. "
Larry David
Energy
Stage
People
" Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. "
Larry David
Before
Bad
Jokes
" If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not? "
Larry David
Talk
About
Course
" It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas. "
Larry David
Country
Than
More
" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "
Larry David
Kept
Me
Something
" When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom. "
Larry David
Freedom
Concerned
Complete
" Women love a self-confident bald man. "
Larry David
Love
Man
Bald
" I'm cranky. "
Larry David
Cranky
" I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them. "
Larry David
Quiet
Shout
People