Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "

Related Quotes:

" I'm anti-cheese in a salad. "

" The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it. "

" I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself. "

" The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial. "

" The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore. "

" I'm a walking, talking enigma. "

" I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood. "

" There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. "

" It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy. "

" Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over. "

" I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently. "

" I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous. "

" When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these altercations all the time. Being in public, dealing with shopkeepers, just trying to cross the street - things like that. "

" I am not honest. "

" Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. "

" I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me. "

" I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted. "

" If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable. "

" Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised. "

" Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me. "

" I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' "

" Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible. "

" Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days. "

" I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am. "

" There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out. "

" If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not? "

" Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough. "

" At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me. "

" Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. "

" Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself. "