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" I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic. "

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" Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself. "

" I have reservations about everything I do. "

" I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. "

" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "

" The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore. "

" Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate. "

" OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy. "

" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "

" When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless. "

" Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. "

" I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide. "

" Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy. "

Self-Confidence

" You know, I'm really not that bright. "

" I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh. "

" You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. "

" The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial. "

" Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days. "

" Let's not forget, I got divorced. "

" I'm a walking, talking enigma. "

" Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror. "

" I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed about it. "

" It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often. "

" I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure. "

" I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted. "

" My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time. "

" Most people think I'm immodest. "

" It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy. "

" I just feed off the energy of the audience. "

" I don't have many friends. "

" I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. "