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" As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. "

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" The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny. "

" When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. "

" Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. "

Alexander Woollcott

" We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again. "

" Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't. "

" My mother was a nurse, and in her era, most diseases weren't understood; people put mustard plasters on knees and rubbed camphor on your chest if you had a cough and did funny things to you if you had tuberculosis - all these things that really made very little difference once proper treatments were brought in. "

" If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. "

" You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own. "

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

" Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. "

" It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. "

" I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down. "

" When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. "

Albert Einstein

" Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out. "

" After all is said and done, sit down. "

" Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. "

" To handle that stardom, the red carpets, the photo shoots, people all of a sudden recognizing you and following you in everyday life, it's a bit weird. It's strange, and it can have funny effects on you in terms of do you like it or don't you like it. Some people run away from it, some people embrace it; I found a good middle ground. "

" To me, the funniest American of the Twentieth Century is Richard Nixon because he had the most to hide, and he was so bad at hiding it. To me, that's what's really funny - people who think they're doing a great job of hiding stuff, and it just keeps leaking out. "

" I know my strong points: I work hard, I have talent, I'm funny, and I'm a good person. "

" I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps could become your sound, too. I did that with Hemingway, and I thought I was writing just like Hemingway. Then all of a sudden it occurred to me - he didn't have a sense of humor. I don't know anything he's written that's funny. "

" My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan - thin, slow, and it leaks. "

" I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. "

" It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment! "

" I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. "

" Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. "

George Bernard Shaw

" The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. "

" Movies don't look hard, but figuring it out, getting the shape of it, getting everybody's character right and having it be funny, make sense and be romantic, it's creating a puzzle. Yes, having been a writer for so long, I have an awareness of when things are going awry, but it doesn't mean I know how to fix them. "

" All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside of that, you're not sure really what's going to happen. It's a funny game, but I think that's why I love it. You never know, one day to the next; you could go shoot 62, and the next day you're going to shoot 78, and you can't predict it. "

" People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it's a way of pulling people in and not scaring them off. I think a lot of the funny stuff, underneath it, there's a deep anxiety going on. "