Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.' "

Related Quotes:

" The people who were in college in the '50s were my first real audience, and their kids, the people who found my records in the cabinet during their 'Mad 'magazine years picked me up also. "

" Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? "

" One of the things I'm proudest of is, on my record 'That Was the Year that Was' in 1965, I made a joke about spending $20 billion sending some clown to the moon. I was against the manned space program then, and I'm even more against it now, that whole waste of money. "

" Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. "

" On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. "

" I wasn't really a performer by temperament. "

" I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing and writing and writing and quit. Every now and then I wrote something, and every now and then I didn't. The second just outnumbered the first. "

" San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. "

" Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. "

" Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs. "

" I was immersed in popular songs of the time, of the '30s and '40s. I was writing songs, making fun of the attitudes of those songs, in the musical style of the songs themselves; love songs, folk songs, marches, football. "

" I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. "

" You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody. "

" If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while. "

" There's something mathematically satisfying about music: notes fit together and harmony and all that. And mathematics has to do with abstractions and making connections. "

" I'm not interested in promoting myself or revealing to total strangers anything about me. That's not my job. "

" I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn't get it, then they could go home and look it up. "

" My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun. "

" When you're in a public profession like I was, and you stop doing it like I did, people think you're either crazy or dead. "

" If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it. "

" I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. "

" Bad weather always looks worse through a window. "

" I loved high school, but I wouldn't want to do it again. "

" I thought about majoring in Math, Chemistry and English, but Math had the fewest requirements, so I went with it. I knew I wanted to teach, and Math was my field, so I studied Math. "

" Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. "

" I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. "

" The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability. "

" I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! "

" I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery. "

" Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit. "