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" It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. "

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" It sounds funny, but I always try to keep an open mind about what I'm writing about. Sometimes I squeak my opinions in there, but generally I don't. I try to be objective about things that I'm writing about. "

John Mellencamp

" Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in. "

" No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. "

Abraham Lincoln

" I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink. "

" You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things. "

" But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work. "

Robert Downey, Jr.

" I'm very, very amateur, which is funny because I'm not in the amateur leagues. "

" I could sooner reconcile all Europe than two women. "

" Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. "

" Instant gratification takes too long. "

" In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me. "

" They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. "

" What after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean. "

Christopher Fry

" Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. "

Jennifer Aniston

" I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. "

" I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers. "

" I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. "

" The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said... it's scary you know? "

" I saw a stationery store move. "

" I love the funny and sweet moments I have with my cats, Jake and Frank, so I'm honored to be celebrating these moments at the Catdance Film Festival. "

" To be or not to be. That's not really a question. "

Jean-Luc Godard

" Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. "

" I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. "

" The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' "

" Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. "

" It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. "

Adlai E. Stevenson

" When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy, I just laughed. Funny was funny; I loved to laugh. I always liked people I found generally funny. "

" Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. "

" If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. "

Logan Pearsall Smith

" When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. "