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" What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? "
W. Clement Stone
Scoundrel
Cork
Funny
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" Some of the best bad guys in movies are funny and charming. "
Michael Pena
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" There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. "
Henry Kissinger
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" Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. "
E. B. White
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" There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.' "
Todd Phillips
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" One picture is worth 1,000 denials. "
Ronald Reagan
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" The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes. "
William Feather
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" Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. "
Jennifer Aniston
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" The funny thing is, I've never really hurt myself in an action movie. I've done 'Wanted,' 'X-Men,' 'Welcome To The Punch,' even 'Trance' to a certain extent has little bits of action and stuff, but I've never really hurt myself at all - not even like a sprained ankle. "
James McAvoy
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" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "
H. L. Mencken
Believe
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" If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay. "
Tom Hanks
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" 'Danger Girl' can be ridiculous, but sometimes it's funny. "
Megan Fox
Sometimes
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" All men are equal before fish. "
Herbert Hoover
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" As for our majority... one is enough. "
Benjamin Disraeli
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" I like Ben Stein. I think he's funny, creative, and an insightful commentator on a host of issues. "
Chuck Norris
He
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" You can't be a real spy and have everybody in the world know who you are and what your drink is. That's just hysterically funny. "
Roger Moore
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" People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. "
Ellen DeGeneres
People
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" If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. "
William Lyon Phelps
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" I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. "
Fred Allen
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" I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. "
Mickey Rooney
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" My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra. "
Angie Dickinson
Me
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" Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. "
P. G. Wodehouse
Restaurant
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" It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget. "
Chuck Palahniuk
Women
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" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "
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" Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace. "
Beth Ditto
Girl
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World
" An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it. "
Don Marquis
Believe
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" Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. "
Mark Twain
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" How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing. "
Les Dawson
You
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" The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' "
Isaac Asimov
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" It's a funny old world. "
Margaret Thatcher
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" My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. "
Woody Allen
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I Am