Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive. "

Related Quotes:

" Oh, I love stand-up. "

" Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness. "

" Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them. "

" When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes. "

" I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work. "

" I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out. "

" I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from. "

" I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' "

" It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them. "

" When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage. "

" Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue. "

" If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are. "

" Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on. "

" Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much. "

" Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it. "

" To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction. "

" I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about. "

" The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to. "

" You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented. "

" Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head. "

" I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum. "

" I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is. "

" Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people. "

" You can't direct without a good crew. "

" I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself. "

" I would rather be with my kids than anybody else. "

" Everything that people say is testable. "

" Life is full of horrible mistakes. "

" When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep. "

" Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.' "