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" Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.' "

Louis C. K.

Saying

Think

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Louis C. K.

Awkward

Kid

" I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.' "

" It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them. "

" Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness. "

" You can't direct without a good crew. "

" When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.' "

" If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye. "

" It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me. "

" I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward. "

Louis C. K.

Growing Up

Little

" When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.' "

" To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me. "

" For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money. "

" When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us. "

" You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.' "

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" I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?' "

" I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from. "