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" Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it. "
Louis C. K.
Comedy
Correct
Even
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" If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't. "
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" I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' "
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" I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do. "
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" When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.' "
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" Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people. "
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" I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that. "
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" I like all ladies of all different ages. "
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" I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad. "
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" Oh, I love stand-up. "
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" I could never sit down and write jokes. "
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" I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor. "
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" Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.' "
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" There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it. "
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People
Evil
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" Life is full of horrible mistakes. "
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" I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up. "
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" Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much. "
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Why
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Talk
" I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of grades in high school. "
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School
High School
Grades
" I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. "
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" I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system. "
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" I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now. "
Louis C. K.
Get
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" I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is. "
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Out
Feel
Kids
" I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women. "
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Women
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" I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself. "
Louis C. K.
Meal
Diet
Myself
" I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed. "
Louis C. K.
Enough Time
Looking
Time
" If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye. "
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" Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides. "
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" I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum. "
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" I love comedians. They're my community. "
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" I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. "
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