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" Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them. "

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" There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it. "

" I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through. "

" For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money. "

" I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work. "

" There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.' "

" Perception is created and twisted so quickly. "

" I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash. "

" I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is. "

" Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides. "

" I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from. "

" There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just decide what the reviews say. "

" The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to. "

" I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do. "

" I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out. "

" I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?' "

" I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at. "

" Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me. "

" There's no such thing as a cheap laugh. "

" You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience. "

" I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor. "

" I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.' "

" Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it. "

" A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around. "

" When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us. "

" A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much. "

" America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out. "

" I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do. "

" My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people. "

" If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are. "

" I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward. "