Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. "
" It's funny: I always, as a high school teacher and particularly as a high school yearbook teacher, because yearbook staffs are 90 percent female, I got to sit in and overhear teenage girl talk for many years. I like teenage girls; I like their drama, their foibles. And I think, 'I'll be good with a teenage daughter!' "
" I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. "
Zsa Zsa Gabor
" To be or not to be. That's not really a question. "
" I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life. "
" I guess people expect or figure me to be a lot of different things. "
" There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. "
" A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "
" People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. "
" Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy! "
" I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. "
" My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain. "
" I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses. "
" Music, at its essence, is what gives us memories. And the longer a song has existed in our lives, the more memories we have of it. "
" A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. "
" Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in. "
" I like having a beard. What's funny is when you shave a beard, you realize how freezing cold your face is! The primary purpose evolution-wise is to keep you warm, to grow hair on your face. You shave it off, and your face is freezing for a few days. "
" People naturally want to retweet and engage on super funny videos and memes. "
" I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time. "
" I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on. "
" I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-looking dramatic actor, and that has its problems. And then I'll go out with the funny guy. It's almost like the funny guy has more to prove. "
" I was flying with my brother, and he challenged me to work out on the airplane. He thought it was funny - and I did it! "
" Time is long but life is short. "
" We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. "
" As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm thinking, 'Who cares? They're laughing.' If you go on stage, and they're laughing at you full-on for 60 minutes? You know, whatever puts them in the seats. "
Larry the Cable Guy
" The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.' "
" My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. "
" The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! "
" There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. "
" Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of. "
" There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast. "
J. Michael Straczynski