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" I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink. "

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" And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me, why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me. "

Drew Brees

Best

Look

" I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness. "

" Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. "

" I love Felicity Jones. It was funny because I went to go see the 'Rogue One' set, and I was like, 'Oh my God, I love you.' And she's so tiny, and elegant, and she's just so small. Everyone's so much smaller than they seem. "

" I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. "

Eddie Izzard

Funny

Europe

" A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. "

" Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. "

" There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer. "

" My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain. "

" I think that I come off as, 'Nothing bothers me, I don't care! I'm funny and sassy.' But I'm deeply sensitive. Not only about myself but to others. Not to pat myself on the back, empathy is a quality I've cultivated over my life. It came naturally to me as a child. "

" Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. "

" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "

" The funny thing about the people I don't like - they're very self-centered. "

" Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore. "

" Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. "

" I'm a funny person, but I take my music seriously. "

" The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. "

" The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life. "

" We, as Americans, at least - I mean, I love my country - but we're so self-righteous sometimes, in terms of, like, our nationality, our country. But we're people from somewhere else; the true 'Americans' are the original peoples. It's funny, but we're a very territorial species. "

" We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. "

" I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. "

Emo Philips

Door

Kid

" I hardly went to school. "

Karl Lagerfeld

" I always find it actually funny that the analysis is that the characters I play in comedies are the manchild, the adolescent, characters that refuse to grow up. And yet, if you look back in the history of comedy all the way back to the Marx brothers, that's a big part of comedy. "

" In France there are, I think, less than one per cent of people who are too skinny. "

Karl Lagerfeld

" If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "

" If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. "

" Does it bother me that I'm attached to 'Three's Company' 30 years after? Not at all. All we were trying to do was be funny. How can I complain? That's all I wanted to do. "

" Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out. "

" Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. "