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" We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity - romantic love and gunpowder. "

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" Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. "

P. G. Wodehouse

" A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. "

" We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. "

" I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary. "

" I grew up in a funny way. "

" I could sooner reconcile all Europe than two women. "

" Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know. "

" The great thing for me about 'The Resurrection of Gavin Stone' is it's a throwback to the old fashioned Hollywood movie that you can watch with your family, has a message, and is funny and entertaining. They didn't call them faith-based movies; they just called them good movies. "

" We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes. "

" Style is the hallmark of a temperament stamped upon the material at hand. "

" I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty. "

" The funny thing about directing is that you have your own opinions, but it's a collaboration. Directing is a group effort. Even though you might think something works, the smartest thing you can do as a director is try and weigh the opinions of the people around you. "

" The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past. "

" What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? "

W. Clement Stone

" It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, 'Get up. What's wrong with you?' "

" The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. "

" If you create an act, you create a habit. If you create a habit, you create a character. If you create a character, you create a destiny. "

" The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' "

" I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends. "

" I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me. "

" The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody - like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and I thought, 'That can be me.' So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn't realize back then that I was having a defining moment. "

" Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. "

Benjamin Franklin

" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "

" I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people. "

" If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor. "

" It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. "

" They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. "

" A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "

" We actually found some home videos, some really funny footage of me when I was around 3 years old. I come up to the camera to do a Nixon impression. I don't know who taught me that, but I come up to the camera and said, 'I am not a crook.' I got a really good laugh. You see me register that bringing joy to people is a positive thing. "

Annaleigh Ashford

" But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work. "

Robert Downey, Jr.