Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. "

Related Quotes:

" Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. "

" Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? "

" I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. "

" I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. "

" Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. "

" He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. "

" I am two with nature. "

" When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. "

" If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. "

" I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. "

" I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. "

" I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her. "

" It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. "

" Tradition is the illusion of permanance. "

" What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? "

" When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back. "

" As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. "

" If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. "

" If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. "

" The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small. "

" I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. "

" Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. "

" To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. "

" My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker. "

" You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. "

" My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. "

" Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. "

" It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. "

" Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. "

" Marriage is the death of hope. "