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" Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. "
Woody Allen
Two
Body
Fun
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" Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue. "
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" I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. "
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" Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. "
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" If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. "
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" There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? "
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" I failed to make the chess team because of my height. "
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" Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. "
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" In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. "
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" Eighty percent of success is showing up. "
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" Tradition is the illusion of permanance. "
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" I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. "
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" I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. "
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" Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there. "
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" I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. "
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Humor
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" I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. "
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Want
Achieve
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" The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. "
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Together
Sleep
Much
" Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. "
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Divided
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" It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. "
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" He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. "
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Armenian
Tried
Suicide
" If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right. "
Woody Allen
Right
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Know
" If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. "
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Plans
Tell
Want
" Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. "
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" Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. "
Woody Allen
Money
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Think
" On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down . "
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Death
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" It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. "
Woody Allen
Afraid
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" I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her. "
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Her
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" In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. "
Woody Allen
Decision
Just
House
" When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back. "
Woody Allen
Steal
Back
Go
" The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have. "
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You
Talent
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" Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen. "
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TV
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