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" A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman. "
H. L. Mencken
Woman
Time
Man
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" For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. "
H. L. Mencken
Centuries
Explaining
Theologians
" The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable. "
H. L. Mencken
Most
Man
Dangerous
" Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. "
H. L. Mencken
Sister
Year
Wife
" A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. "
H. L. Mencken
Quite
Politician
Honest
" Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself. "
H. L. Mencken
Relationship
Man
Cousins
" Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love. "
H. L. Mencken
Women
Children
Simple
" In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. "
H. L. Mencken
World
Politics
Sin
" An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. "
H. L. Mencken
Soup
Will
Better
" A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable. "
H. L. Mencken
Original
Capable
Society
" Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates. "
H. L. Mencken
Ocean
Mind
Man
" A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground. "
H. L. Mencken
Animal
Sit
Ground
" Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies. "
H. L. Mencken
Other
Like
Up
" We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. "
H. L. Mencken
Beautiful
Children
Only
" I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. "
H. L. Mencken
Liberty
Believe
I Believe
" When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before. "
H. L. Mencken
Two
Never
New
" Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience. "
H. L. Mencken
Women
Wisdom
Men
" Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing. "
H. L. Mencken
Effort
Explain
Knowing
" There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. "
H. L. Mencken
Always
Problem
Easy
" The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. "
H. L. Mencken
World
Fact
Lies
" Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. "
H. L. Mencken
Love
Intelligence
Imagination
" Every man is his own hell. "
H. L. Mencken
Every Man
Own
Man
" Judge: a law student who marks his own examination-papers. "
H. L. Mencken
Law
Judge
Marks
" I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine. "
H. L. Mencken
Until
Smoked
Nine
" Historian: an unsuccessful novelist. "
H. L. Mencken
Unsuccessful
History
Historian
" A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. "
H. L. Mencken
Examination
Judge
Student
" I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. "
H. L. Mencken
Trying
Government
Evil
" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "
H. L. Mencken
Believe
Average
Ape
" Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse. "
H. L. Mencken
Might
Universities
Worse
" It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. "
H. L. Mencken
Man
Place
Lie
" No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. "
H. L. Mencken
Woman
Always
Man