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" Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil. "

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" One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable. "

" Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. "

" Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. "

" A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. "

" Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. "

" Most people want security in this world, not liberty. "

" Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself. "

" I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. "

" A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. "

" The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. "

" A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. "

" A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas. "

" I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. "

" The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind. "

" The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt. "

" Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. "

" No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. "

" Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them. "

" Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed. "

" Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince. "

" Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates. "

" The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety. "

" A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier. "

" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "

" It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. "

" The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line. "

" Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ. "

" For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. "

" Life is a dead-end street. "

" Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies. "