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" The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. "

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" The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught. "

" We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine. "

" In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one. "

" For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. "

" Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly. "

" A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. "

" If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl. "

" I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them. "

" Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. "

" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "

" A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. "

" As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. "

" Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body. "

" Honor is simply the morality of superior men. "

" A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable. "

" God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. "

" Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. "

" If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish. "

" Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon. "

" Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. "

" Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. "

" Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient. "

" Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. "

" Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true. "

" There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good. "

" The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind. "

" Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love. "

" We must be willing to pay a price for freedom. "

" Most people want security in this world, not liberty. "

" Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. "