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" You want to do good things, and once you've done a couple of good things in a row, you think 'Well gee, let's not mess this up.' But I am lucky at this point that I have something I really love to do, and it completely holds my attention. I never feel frustrated by it. "

Jerry Seinfeld

Love

Think

Good

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" That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. "

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" When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. Online, you're a guest in someone's face. So that's why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I'm in your face. "

" Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. "

" A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "

" There's different kinds of laughs. It's like a baseball lineup: this guy's your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we're gonna win. "

Jerry Seinfeld

Job

Win

" There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. "

" There are very few people who really appreciate my shows. People come to the show and they pay and they enjoy it, but I don't really think most people really understand what they've seen. "

" Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner. "

" The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That's why they call it standby. You end up standing there going, 'Bye!' "

" Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it. "

Jerry Seinfeld

Look

Humor

" You can be passionate about anything. "

" You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. "

" Stand-up is hard. "

Jerry Seinfeld

Hard

Stand-Up

" Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There's entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky. "

" Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death. "

" The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say. "

" It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. "

" To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving. "

Jerry Seinfeld

Live

Movement

" The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun. "

" We've fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment. "

" I love being a dad. I just love it. "

" The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end. "

" Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers. "

" A lot of stuff I do out of pure obsessiveness. "

" People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. "

" I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team. "

" Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there. "

" You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' "

" You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture. "