Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" Stand-up is hard. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Hard
Stand-Up
Related Quotes:
" To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Live
Me
Movement
" To a guy like me, a laugh is full of information. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Me
Like
Laugh
" I like definitive things. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Things
Definitive
Like
" I love being a dad. I just love it. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Love
Just
I Love
" Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Good
Yourself
You
" You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up - it's a painful experience for the audience, and the comedian a lot of time - we miss that. "
Jerry Seinfeld
World
You
Time
" There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.' "
Jerry Seinfeld
Know
Think
Men
" Stand-up is hard. Or to keep it at a certain level is hard: I have no writers but me. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Writers
Level
Keep
" I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Need
Entertained
You
" Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Good
Angry
Know
" You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. "
Jerry Seinfeld
You
Know
Essence
" If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Get
You
Think
" I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Proud
New
More
" Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Now
Problem
Think
" A lot of advertising has gotten worse. I think it's kind of lost its nerve, to be honest with you. I feel like the advertising of the '60s, they were nervier. You know why? Because there was less at stake. "
Jerry Seinfeld
You
Advertising
Know
" I like money, but it's never been about the money. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Never
Money
Like
" I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I'm doing new stuff all the time. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Time
Year
Week
" When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Myself
Roof
Bee
" My theory is 98 percent of all human endeavor is killing time. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Theory
Human
Time
" Forty to 60 I would say is your prime. That's when you know the most, you've seen the most, you understand the most, and you still have some physical energy. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Energy
You
Understand
" The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Knowing
You
Talk
" If you're a surfer, you just want to surf. You don't know if anyone's going to see you, and you don't really care if they see you. You just live for that feeling. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Care
Know
Live
" The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Write
Thought
Car
" I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. "
Jerry Seinfeld
You
I Am
Doing
" As a comedian, I found this thing, this profession, that suits my mind and life force. To drop it to do something else? I just don't get that. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Suits
Just
Life
" When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. Online, you're a guest in someone's face. So that's why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I'm in your face. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Home
Feel
Face
" Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Passion
Funny
Life
" I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Audience
Because
Old
" When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Small
Someone
Environment
" You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Yourself
Alive
Challenges