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" Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing. "

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" I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of grades in high school. "

" Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people. "

" I could never sit down and write jokes. "

" The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it. "

" It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me. "

" I would rather be with my kids than anybody else. "

" I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. "

" Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue. "

" The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to. "

" You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented. "

" I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work. "

" My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes. "

" A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much. "

" There's no such thing as a cheap laugh. "

" I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor. "

" Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them. "

" The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness. "

" There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it. "

" Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.' "

" When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us. "

" A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together. "

" I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through. "

" You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience. "

" I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is. "

" To me, art supplies are always okay to buy. "

" There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?' "

" If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't. "

" If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye. "

" When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore. "

" I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about. "