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" A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. "

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" If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. "

Tallulah Bankhead

" Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. "

" Let's make some funny pictures. "

" Entrepreneurs with disabilities are overwhelmingly successful. "

" The fact is I'm choosy, but mainly about a man's character. He has to be interesting, funny and clever. I don't even mind if he's not very good-looking. "

" I'm very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in 'Morning Glory' with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone. "

" People forget how outcast 'They Might Be Giants' can be. They have a reputation for writing really deft, funny, clever melodies, and they also make a lot of music for kids, which is terrific, but when you see them in concert, they can rock the house. "

" You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny. "

" It usually takes two people a little while to learn where the funny buttons are and testy buttons are. "

" Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. "

" If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. "

" The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' "

" Communism is like one big phone company. "

" Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. "

Abraham Lincoln

" A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. "

" I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. "

" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "

" I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper. "

" It's funny because I've made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say. "

" If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify. "

Seth MacFarlane

" There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I'll be happy when people can just move on from that, and things can just be 'comedies' and not 'female' or 'male,' and everyone gets an equal opportunity. "

" If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. "

" When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. "

" I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat. "

" Every man has a sane spot somewhere. "

Robert Louis Stevenson

" A funny thing about near-future stories: the future catches up to them. If the author is unlucky, the future catches up faster than the book can get out the door. "

Edward M. Lerner

" I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. "

" Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. "

Jennifer Aniston

" Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons. "

" Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. "