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" I'm a funny guy. You've got to be able to make fun of yourself. We only live once. "

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" In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. "

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" When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm not really into serious programmes or documentaries. "

" When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been in really ghastly taste. I don't think I have embarrassed many people or distressed them. "

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" My mother was a very, very funny, outrageous, outspoken person, and she never edited me. Her whole thing in my life was if anybody had a problem with me, tell them to go to hell. "

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" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "

" It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. "

" If you can take a piece of life and put it in a song, it's going to be a good song - especially if it's from the heart. "

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" It's so funny because I listen to songs that I recorded that I didn't really know anything about at the time. Later on I'm starting to feel the songs. Sing them first, feel them later. "

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" I don't know, maybe Australian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss that. "