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" Every dogma has its day. "

Anthony Burgess

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" I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of. "

" I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. "

Robert Benchley

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, 'O.K., I think I'm decently funny.' But unless you just have some massive ego, I really think you're still fighting against that. "

" I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell? "

" A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. "

George Bernard Shaw

" I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. "

" 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun. "

" Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape. "

" Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings. "

Sparky Anderson

" Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. "

Abraham Lincoln

" You meet folks who are funny and really smart and persistent and loving that are confronting this thing we call poverty, which is just a shorthand for this way of life that holds you underwater. And you just wonder what our country would be if we allowed these people to flourish and reach their full potential. "

Matthew Desmond

" Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day. "

" Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me it's a form of sacrament. "

" Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. "

" She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years. "

J. B. Priestley

" If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like. "

William Feather

" Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know? "

Kris Holden-Ried

" I would ask my mother to show me how to walk - and she did show me. That's why I think it's funny when people say, 'Did so-and-so teach you how to walk?' And I always say, 'You must be talking about my mother, because it was my mother who taught me how to walk.' "

" Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way. "

" My mother was a very, very funny, outrageous, outspoken person, and she never edited me. Her whole thing in my life was if anybody had a problem with me, tell them to go to hell. "

" It's a funny thing: my name in Arabic means hope, so I suppose I have to live by that principle. Hope is desire, feeling, and investing in a projection of something that doesn't yet exist. At its best, you witness its alchemy in your life, turning something that was once in the mind into reality. At its worst, it's delusion. "

" I'm fascinated with the stories that we tell. Real histories become fantasies and fairy tales, morality tales and fables. There's something interesting and funny and perverse about the way fairytale sometimes passes for history, for truth. "

" Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun. "

Jennette McCurdy

" That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. "

" It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. "

" I think my funny books are my favorites because I like to laugh so much. "

" I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier. "

" Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know. "

" The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life. "