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" That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. "
Joe Rogan
Time
People
Funny
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" I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. "
Robin Williams
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Agree
Right
" Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. "
Thomas Szasz
Good
Funny
Make
" It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. "
Johnny Vegas
Me
Question
Love
" If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! "
Demetri Martin
Funny
You
Then
" Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. "
Brooke Shields
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Your
You
" I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. "
Elayne Boosler
Matter
Three
Door
" Mariah is a beautiful and talented person, and I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. Every day, my respect for Mariah continues to grow higher. She's a caring, warm and funny person. People have no idea how funny she is! I feel like I've always known she was my forever love. "
Nick Cannon
Funny
Love
Day
" The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody - like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and I thought, 'That can be me.' So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn't realize back then that I was having a defining moment. "
Dwayne Johnson
Moment
Thought
Men
" It's been very funny to try to act like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every day, I'm like, 'Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella? Do I carry a briefcase?' Because I'm trying to be some image of the adults I saw on TV growing up. "
John Mulaney
Growing Up
Funny
Day
" The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. "
Phyllis Diller
Time
Funny
Only
" It's funny what memory does, isn't it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. But because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail. "
Molly O'Keefe
Good
Love
Funny
" All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead. "
Will Ferrell
You
People
Hope
" I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. "
Bette Davis
Kiss
Washed
Ya
" Filming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until it's over. "
Nicole Holofcener
Time
Funny
Having A Good Time
" The fact is I'm choosy, but mainly about a man's character. He has to be interesting, funny and clever. I don't even mind if he's not very good-looking. "
Agyness Deyn
Character
Interesting
Man
" Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. "
Jack Black
Think
Movies
News
" One picture is worth 1,000 denials. "
Ronald Reagan
Picture
Worth
Picture Is Worth
" Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? "
James Thurber
You
Like
Funny
" There's one thing about baldness, it's neat. "
Don Herold
About
Funny
Neat
" It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. "
Bill Hicks
Funny
Always
Humor
" I saw a stationery store move. "
Jay London
Saw
Store
Move
" But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. "
Garry Shandling
Funny
Love
Think
" Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. "
Jerry Lewis
Hands
Man
Funny
" I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am funny, but it was more of a social thing, where that was my part in my circle of friends. "
Abbi Jacobson
School
Think
Friends
" A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it. "
Ivan Reitman
Humor
Good
Long
" Leave America and you'll find that the consumers in many other countries enjoy watching advertising. Not because the products are better, but because the ads are produced to be entertaining. Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are dramatic. Sometimes they are just beautiful. "
Simon Sinek
Beautiful
Funny
America
" They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. "
Clint Eastwood
Lightning
They Say
Say
" My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn't aware is a punch line. "
Kapil Sharma
She
Line
Kind
" If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. "
Henny Youngman
Tomorrow
Sorry
Morning
" The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. "
Terry Pratchett
Trouble
Trying
People