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" Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me it's a form of sacrament. "

Sally Quinn

Wine

Funny

Experience

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" I never liked you, and I always will. "

" If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor. "

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" I like children - fried. "

W. C. Fields

Children

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" I've had an experience through music that has touched almost every part of me. It educated me in ways that I didn't get educated in school. So we try to lay on a bit of that, through being funny, being serious, playing hard. "

Bruce Springsteen

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" 'I Love You, Man' was kind of funny. "

" Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape. "

" Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted. "

" They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls. "

" It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's art. "

" But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. "

" Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. "

" If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. "

" Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. "

Joan Rivers

Funny

Forty

" I am certain there is too much certainty in the world. "

" A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "

" Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. "

" The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man. "

" It's funny, because what happens to me when I read a script, when something grabs hold of me, I start getting these flashes of people or places or things or images. "

Johnny Depp

Things

Places

" The first term of the Clinton administration was very jolly. Everybody was running around meeting people and of course, in the second term, everyone went down the black hole, which also happened at the end of the Reagan administration. "

" I meditate and I also think about meditation. Which is funny. I think about Maharishi, about just the idea of meditating. It gives me something. "

" I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. "

" Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? "

" Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing. "

" Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things. "

" People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it's a way of pulling people in and not scaring them off. I think a lot of the funny stuff, underneath it, there's a deep anxiety going on. "

" I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. "

" If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn't mean just because you are confident you are funny. "

" I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad. "