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" Honor is simply the morality of superior men. "

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" Criticism is prejudice made plausible. "

" Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. "

" Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love. "

" I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. "

" All government, of course, is against liberty. "

" It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously. "

" Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? "

" Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. "

" The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. "

" I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing. "

" One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring. "

" Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. "

" A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier. "

" As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. "

" Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. "

" A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. "

" To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true! "

" The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. "

" If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish. "

" Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time. "

" The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable. "

" No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. "

" A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them. "

" For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. "

" The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught. "

" A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. "

" When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before. "

" The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. "

" A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank. "

" Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing. "