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" No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. "

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" There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor. "

H. L. Mencken

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" The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable. "

" I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine. "

" Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. "

" In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. "

" The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral. "

" In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one. "

" Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian. "

" Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body. "

" Time stays, we go. "

H. L. Mencken

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" I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. "

" Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. "

" I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing. "

" Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on. "

" Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. "

" I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant. "

" Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. "

" Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods. "

" On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. "

" Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good. "

" Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. "

" Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. "

" There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. "

" Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. "

" Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse. "

" Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? "

" There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good. "

" The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. "

" A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them. "

" Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ. "