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" I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the summer. They can start talking again after Labor Day. "
Lewis Black
People
Believe
Start
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" The fear of health care changing is beyond belief. Like there's a way to make the system worse. Really? "
Lewis Black
Health
Fear
Belief
" Basically I wake up in the morning and I think everything's going to be great. I'm really kind of optimistic, and I look forward to a new day. I pick up 'The New York Times,' and I look at the front page and realize that once again I'm wrong. I start to fixate on stuff. "
Lewis Black
Day
New Day
Great
" The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope. "
Lewis Black
Right
American
Place
" I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. "
Lewis Black
Joke
Odd
Say
" In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants. "
Lewis Black
Believe
Gone
Voting
" I don't need politicians doing a 24-hour prayer with Oral Roberts to get our country back on track. "
Lewis Black
Doing
Back
Politicians
" Self-love is a big part of golf. "
Lewis Black
Golf
Big
Part
" I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else. "
Lewis Black
New York
New
More
" I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated. "
Lewis Black
Get
Some
Me
" Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math! "
Lewis Black
Math
Sure
Republicans
" It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff. "
Lewis Black
Taxes
Question
Privilege
" People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single. "
Lewis Black
Single
Enjoy
Better
" I'm a happy person but an angry citizen. "
Lewis Black
Happy
Person
Angry
" I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke. "
Lewis Black
Constantly
Having
Stroke
" I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism. "
Lewis Black
Angry
Socialism
People
" Everybody's got cable. "
Lewis Black
Got
Everybody
Cable
" Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny. "
Lewis Black
I Am
Say
Funny
" Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight. "
Lewis Black
Cloud
Sky
Sight
" I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic. "
Lewis Black
Right
Left
Think
" I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy. "
Lewis Black
Christmas
Healthy
People
" Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a homework assignment every stinking day until it's done. And by the time you get it in, it's done and you're sitting there reading it, and you realize the 12,000 things you didn't do. I mean, writing isn't fun. It's never been fun. "
Lewis Black
Day
Writing
Reading
" I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time. "
Lewis Black
Place
People
You
" One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich. "
Lewis Black
Me
Know
You
" It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.' "
Lewis Black
God
Funny
Good
" It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursuing that, you're an idiot. You're a moron. The shortest distance between two points is not a celebrity, or being next to a celebrity. "
Lewis Black
Now
Want
People
" When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip. "
Lewis Black
Country
Lost
Water
" If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row. "
Lewis Black
Go
Week
Right
" My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road. "
Lewis Black
Been
Started
Road
" In Vegas, you have an audience you can't find anywhere else. It's from all over the country. You play Seattle, everyone's from Seattle. But in Vegas, you have six from Seattle, a bunch from L.A., some local Las Vegans and maybe a farmer from Iowa. In Vegas, you learn the ins and outs of holding a room because of that great spectrum of folks. "
Lewis Black
Vegas
Play
Country
" I like college football, but I'm a huge college basketball fan. I could sit and watch every game of March Madness and be happy. That could be a vacation. "
Lewis Black
Football
Vacation
Happy