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" I can't stand reading anything that I've said. "
Larry David
Stand
Said
Anything
Related Quotes:
" I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh. "
Larry David
Laugh
Lonely
Think
" I don't like to make a big splash anyway. "
Larry David
Make
Big
Anyway
" If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable. "
Larry David
Would
Golfer
Miserable
" Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. "
Larry David
Before
Bad
Jokes
" Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base. "
Larry David
You
Back
Line
" Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens. "
Larry David
Name
Moving
Back
" There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable! "
Larry David
Nothing
Me
Reflects
" You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. "
Larry David
Kid
You
Know
" Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it. "
Larry David
Around
Very
Walk
" I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous. "
Larry David
Think
I Think
Golf
" Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy. "
Larry David
Self-Confidence
Women
Crazy
" Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. "
Larry David
Birds
Sometimes
Deaf
" I have no secrets. "
Larry David
Secrets
" Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then. "
Larry David
People
Me
Kind
" I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.' "
Larry David
Sorry
House
Go
" I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood. "
Larry David
Hard
Tough
Miserable
" Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious. "
Larry David
Relationship
Precarious
Just
" I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War. "
Larry David
Vietnam War
Army
End
" I'm a walking, talking enigma. "
Larry David
Talking
Walking
Enigma
" I believe in something. "
Larry David
I Believe In
Believe
I Believe
" Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself. "
Larry David
Think
Religion
Myself
" I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges. "
Larry David
Person
World
Running
" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "
Larry David
Talk
You
Way
" You know, I'm really not that bright. "
Larry David
You
Really
Know
" I'm not quite as anonymous as I was. "
Larry David
Quite
Anonymous
" Obviously comedic styles do change. "
Larry David
Change
Obviously
Styles
" Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. "
Larry David
Trying
Pants
Most
" I am not honest. "
Larry David
Am
I Am
Honest
" In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year. "
Larry David
Three
Service
Acting
" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "
Larry David
Kept
Me
Something