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" I don't like to make a big splash anyway. "
Larry David
Make
Big
Anyway
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" Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married! "
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Up
Man
Never
" You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. "
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Kid
You
Know
" Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens. "
Larry David
Name
Moving
Back
" I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized. "
Larry David
Comedy
Started
Become
" OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy. "
Larry David
OK
Right
Happy
" I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people. "
Larry David
Tolerate
Like
People
" I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself. "
Larry David
Good
Anything
Feel
" I believe in something. "
Larry David
I Believe In
Believe
I Believe
" Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself. "
Larry David
Think
Religion
Myself
" I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab. "
Larry David
Cab
Drove
Had
" In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year. "
Larry David
Three
Service
Acting
" Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it. "
Larry David
Around
Very
Walk
" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "
Larry David
Talk
You
Way
" There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable! "
Larry David
Nothing
Me
Reflects
" I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am. "
Larry David
Like
Feel
Mean
" Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised. "
Larry David
Scene
Time
Thinking
" My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time. "
Larry David
Walking
Time
My Life
" No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all. "
Larry David
Shocked
Saw
People
" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "
Larry David
Kept
Me
Something
" When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless. "
Larry David
New York
Think
Homeless
" I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big. "
Larry David
Small Things
Small
Pretty
" I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore. "
Larry David
Enough
Therapy
Now
" Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. "
Larry David
Trying
Pants
Most
" It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas. "
Larry David
Country
Than
More
" I have reservations about everything I do. "
Larry David
About
Reservations
Everything
" Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. "
Larry David
Before
Bad
Jokes
" I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.' "
Larry David
Sorry
House
Go
" It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy. "
Larry David
People
Were
Comedy
" People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue. "
Larry David
Them
Things
Nasty
" I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges. "
Larry David
Person
World
Running