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" I'm not quite as anonymous as I was. "

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" I have reservations about everything I do. "

" You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. "

" If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not? "

" Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally. "

" I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed. "

" Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible. "

" I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that's going to happen. There's an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it. "

" People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue. "

" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "

" Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married! "

" I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic. "

" I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore. "

" Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. "

" Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised. "

" There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. "

" I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am. "

" I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide. "

" Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base. "

" I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' "

" I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed about it. "

" I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them. "

" Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. "

" It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas. "

" Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over. "

" Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on! "

" My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver. "

" Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. "

" Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. "

" Most people think I'm immodest. "

" If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny. "